I knew I wanted to intern for Pattern the moment I heard about its existence. Now, it is almost odd to sit here and write this exit post. I feel like I still have not completely grasped that I was able to have this opportunity to do what I love most. It is not that this was the easiest thing I have ever done — it definitely was not. There were days I could barely get up in the morning and get to the office, but I did because I knew this place was giving me the platform I needed to get my career in styling started. Before this internship, my fashion experience was limited to me creating outfit ideas on an app on my phone. Now, I can say that I have done a number of things, from editorials to fashion related Instagram reels to commercial shoots. It is kind of crazy how much you can learn and experience over one summer.
To be honest, I did not even think I would get this internship. I saw myself as completely unqualified, considering, as I mentioned, I was just making outfit ideas on my phone and giving my friends fashion advice from time to time. I remember being terrified for the interview. “I am going to look so inexperienced compared to the other people walking in here today,” I thought. So, when I got the email that I was accepted into the internship program, I literally screamed. My roommate thought something bad happened because of the shrieking sound I made, but it was a sound of excitement … a sound of confirmation. I was so happy to see that someone saw something in me I did not entirely see in myself. I was not completely sure why they picked me, as I felt there were other people at that interview who came off more experienced than I, but I did not care about why they decided to pick me anymore. I was just happy to be chosen.
Now being at the end, I am still happy they chose me. Like I said before, I have experienced so many things that, before this experience, were just simple goals and hopes. I did not even think I was capable of half of the things I have accomplished during my time here. I know now not to doubt myself so much because I am capable of much more than I might think.
This internship has given me many tools to take with me into my journey through the fashion industry. But, it has also given me tools to take with me into everyday life. Not only has it taught me to believe in myself and trust myself more, but it has also taught me to be okay when things do not go exactly as planned. I am a perfectionist — always have been, always will be (in some sense, at least). Despite this, I have learned during my time here that not everything can be perfect. I might have this idea in my head about what something should look like and how something should go, but that does not mean it will happen or look that way and I now know how to be more okay with that fact. I had many moments where I wanted something to look a specific way, but it turned out differently. Usually, I would lose my mind over even the smallest detail being different than what I imagined. But now, I know that things that can still turn out okay, or even great, despite them being different from the “perfect” image in my head.
I am incredibly thankful for my time at Pattern. Not to give some cliche goodbye, but I am thankful for the friends I made, the lessons I learned, and the experiences I had. Who knows if this is truly the end for Pattern and I, but I know for sure this is not the end for me and fashion. This is just the beginning. I have so much more I can do, and I thank Pattern for believing in me and giving me my start.