Internship Diary: Believe in Yourself

When I first came across the PATTERN internship page, I thought to myself, “Never in a million years will I get this internship.” So, I didn’t apply. I kept scrolling through other internships, not thinking anything else of it. It was only when my favorite teacher told me to go for it and that “you never know what could happen” that I realized, it’s worth a shot, I didn’t want to look back and regret not even trying. So, the next day I applied and within days I received an email asking for an interview. 

After 30 minutes of self-doubt, panic, and affirmations through my tiny rearview mirror, I walked inside, not knowing what to expect, but excited for what was to come. I was immediately inspired by the PATTERN office- the bright lights, colors, yellow chairs, and dozens of photographs all plastered around the space instantly captured my attention. As I scanned the room and all its vibrant details, I said to myself, “I have to work here.” 

Flash forward to the day of my first shoot with full styling reign. It was extremely nerve wracking and intimidating. The self-doubt I was known for possessing was settling in and I could literally feel pits in my stomach. I was so worried the photographer wasn’t going to like the looks I chose, the clothes wouldn’t fit the model, or I would damage something I pulled (which did happen-accidents are bound too). It wasn’t until after the shoot was over that it finally hit me- there was no reason to be so nervous, everything worked out, and the looks turned out great, I just needed to be confident in myself.

My time at PATTERN really allowed me to get in touch with not only this idea of confidence, but with my creative side as well and where my place in the fashion industry lies. I have always loved fashion and plan to work in the industry after I graduate this May, but my experience at PATTERN opened my eyes to all the different ways I can be involved in the creative economy, specifically through fashion in Indianapolis.

For as long as I can remember, I wanted to live in New York. But, with COVID this past year, a lot was put into perspective for me and I realized I did not want that after all. I began to really doubt my place in the industry if I wouldn’t be in New York. However, this internship allowed me to see the booming creative economy and fashion culture available right here in Indy. 

To say I knew little about Indiana is an understatement. I grew up in a small suburb outside of Chicago so I was very unfamiliar with the area. I will never forget the interview question I received about my least favorite part of the city, to which I replied “the one ways.” Still to this day I go down the wrong ways when exploring the city- they are so confusing! But through my time getting to know the vibrant city and local creatives in the community, I realized Indy has a lot to offer and a lot of room for growth and collaboration. I truly fell in love with the atmosphere and the community feel not only in the city, but through the amazing people I met throughout the internship. My fellow interns and I grew very close over the last 15 weeks and it’s going to be weird not seeing all their beautiful, smiling faces sitting across from me at the big intern table that was filled with so many laughs, ideas, support and memories I will cherish forever. 

My biggest piece of advice for aspiring PATTERN interns is to take in every single moment. The time truly does go by so fast. One minute you’re interviewing and the next you’re writing your intern exit post, reminiscing on all the great opportunities and memories made in the office. 

The biggest takeaway from my time interning at PATTEN is to trust myself and be confident in my work. The first few weeks of the internship I really lacked confidence and felt like I wasn’t good enough to be an intern for PATTERN. That self-doubt really affected my work until I realized I was asked to be there for a reason so I had to learn to believe in myself, my skills, and my work. 

I am so beyond thankful to everyone at PATTERN for the experience and opportunities I was given, the lessons I was taught, the confidence that was encouraged to believe in myself, and my fellow interns who have grown to become some of my closest friends and biggest supporters. 

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