LFW: TOM FORD F/W 2014

Apparently I didn’t get the memo. Apparently I’m supposed to be a fan of Jay Z. Apparently I’m supposed to understand “street lingo.”

Apparently, I fail.

I watch Twitter rather heavily this time of year because you can be standing right next to someone at a fashion show and they’ll not say a word, but they’ll tweet what they’re thinking 27 times during the show. All those comments go a long way toward telling me what people anticipate versus how a collection is being received. Prior to, during, and after the Tom Ford show, on particular comment kept coming up from almost every source: “I don’t pop Molly, I rock Tom Ford.”

So, okay, yet another pop culture reference that I don’t get. I’m okay with that. I don’t have to understand everything going on in a culture in which I do not participate. I’m cool with that.

Then, right smack in the middle of the show, Tom sends down what is possibly the most tacky piece I’ve ever seen from him: a red sequined sports jersey dress reading, “Tom Ford” on top with the giant number 61 in the center. Below that, the word “Molly” was crossed out. Obviously, Tom had heard that phrase before, too.

I had to ask for help. Turns out the line is from a Jay Z “song” (if one can call what Jay Z does singing) and has something to do with having better quality materials than one’s peers.

Yeah, it’s a drug reference.

Unfortunately, there’s a lot to this Tom Ford collection I don’t understand, and I’m not the only one. Complaints from the faithful were loud, which is rather unusual. Sure, there’s always one or two people who aren’t happy, but typically the majority of people in attendance like a collection. So, hearing people walking out of the Tom Ford show, where they’d been plied with champagne and seated on soft-cushioned couches, say that the collection was, “meh,” is unusual.

I don’t understand where the sexy looks have gone. In their place are loose, boxy, almost sloppy garment that do a good job of hiding a girl’s figure. I suppose that’s a good thing of one has been eating ice cream all winter, but for most people it’s just not a flattering look.

I don’t understand why there are fitted hoodies when the knit caps he uses on other looks are so much more practical and attractive.

I don’t understand why the kick-ass western-styled boots several of the models wear have heels that render them totally useless outside an event where one does not need to walk.

And I certainly don’t understand why there are two versions of that sequined Molly jersey dress.

I DO understand why he uses a lot of velvet and leopard print and red. Those are all trends that are very popular and looks that everyone is going to expect in stores come fall.

This is not the super-sexy collection we’ve come to expect from Tom Ford, though. They are lacking in finesse, in attention to detail, in anything resembling originality. Instead, what he gives us this season is a lot of bulky velvet, stiff leather, and faux fur that looks like it might shed all over the closet.

If this is Tom Ford, perhaps we should go back and check up on Molly.

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